Dear men,
This one is for you. I know you come from a long line of African heterosexuals, and your ancestors, in a spree of macho superiority stood at the front line of battle, engaging in a conquest of land and farm produce, wearing nothing but the imprint of ash dust on their chests and bamboo leaves round their waist area. Of course, their wives were tasked with the nature-induced assignment of being women, and were thereby forced to juggle between cooking peppery soups, shuttling jars of water from the stream, and giving birth to 8 or 9 children in a lifetime, the children part being a feat I consider genius of unimaginable proportions.
I also know that once upon a time in our not-too-distant history, a man would have to choose his wife by sampling. (Well, come to think of it, we are actually all still in this sampling business). But you know, back then, a woman’s worth was directly proportionate to her domestic prowess. Let me clarify that. As a woman, your chances of being ‘wifed’ were measured on the premise of the number of soups you could prepare, your ability to take instructions from your lord and master a.k.a husband and then of course, your desire to give him as many children in your youth as you can, before he tires of your taste and seeks the pleasure of another woman. (Pun totally intended.)
So, let me take the liberty to break this news.
Times. Have. Changed.
It is called the 21st century. And your idea of what a wife should be needs to evolve with the times as well.
Why am I saying this?
Just the other day, I came across a guy’s timeline. You know, one of these no-name motivational speakers. This guy apparently had the solution to why women remained single after 35, and what’s more, he started reeling out tips to his male folks on qualities to look out for when looking for a wife.
Image: tualenaija.com
Initially, I was too flabbergasted by his remarks to indulge him in a comment, but after a second and deeper consideration I decided to write this article instead. Just because! Foolishness should not always go unanswered.
Anyway, what did Mr. Speaker say? Nothing beyond the fact that a woman should be accepted as a potential wife only when she meets the requirements listed below:
- If she can cook several kinds of delicacies. (Ok. so food is actually really important, but should that be the sole purpose of marriage?)
- If she comes to your house and washes all your clothes, and then, washes the clothes of your siblings
- If you give her money to shop or for upkeep and she spends only about a quarter and brings the rest back for you. (I’m not even sure what to make of the whole upkeep money part, but that will be article for another day)
It may sound like it is only men tucked away in remote villages who think like this, but I assure you, the reality is quite the contrary. I have met a lawyer who insisted that a lady would never be his potential wife because she did not seem like the sort of person who would wash his clothes.
Anyway, now that we have established our common ancestral history and my apparent empathy for it, let me take a moment to paint this scenario.
Image: Yahoo.com
A couple has been married for a few years. The husband has a job in a certain bank, while the wife works in another bank. They both have to be out of the house by 6:30am. The wife gets up by 4:30 to clean the house, prepare breakfast and lunch, and run the bath. The husband staggers into the bathroom by 6.05 and is ready at precisely 6:30. They both leave for work. Come back at about 9pm, but wife, a.k.a super human, goes ahead to make dinner. She runs the routine from Mondays to Fridays. Then come Saturday, she wants to sleep in, get her nails fixed and bask in the luxury of a good book. But the boys, a.k.a husband’s friends, come around and judge her for not being ‘wifey’ enough.
Seriously?! I mean SERIOUSLY?!!!
So yeah, I think it is time to re evaluate this entire wife material thing and what the expectations of our men should be. Like a menopausal woman who has outgrown the excessive sweat stage, I think the world is well past that phase.
Photo Credit: pininterest.com
So again, dear men,
I know you want a woman who can cook, but do you perhaps think there might be something wrong with preferring a woman’s cooking to her company?
Do you think it is human to kick off your shoes in front of the TV as your wife, who has also been out all day, slaves away in the kitchen, all week, all month and all year round?
Do you think it is rational that you assess the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with based on her ability to clean, cook and eject babies from her body?
I mean, do you even understand what marriage is about apart from hidden selfish ambitions and the colloquial idea of macho entitlements expressed in the idea of the ‘wife material’ concept?
Do you?
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